p0ndorica:

p0ndorica:

sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought 

it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich

(via softtitty)

metaphorically:

i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it” 

(via onekissbarrensky)

whattheeffingcrap:

I might just start handing out complimentary photos of Tegan and Sara whenever people talk to me.

“No we didn’t have homework, but you know what you do have now? This exquisite photograph of Tegan from mid-2007.”

(via lovemesomeloki)

pizzaforpresident:

fun prank: take your friend’s iPhone and move an app or two. do this once a day until they have a mental breakdown

(via tismillie)

endermisha:

bmoburns:

preteenager:

HOW DOES POPCORN EVEN DO THAT THING

HERE I SHOW YOU THE THING

this is the most majestic thing i have ever seen in my entire life 

(via lovemesomeloki)

maydaykoigo:

curiouslyhigh:

bunnywith:

tahnoscheeks:

do you ever just get up from your computer to walk aimlessly around your house only to sit back down in front of the computer again

I pointlessly open the fridge too.

sometimes i just stand in the middle of the living room and look lost.

Why am I in the bathroom

(Source: vergilminaj, via ninejuanjuan)